


#ShipWars

by isometric



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes
Genre: Gen, Nonbinary Summoner | Eclat | Kiran, This is just crack, brief mention of kiran stress-starving, kiran is jealous and dramatic for funsies, platonic kiralfonse (if a lil codependent) but you can see it either way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-01 23:37:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20266399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isometric/pseuds/isometric
Summary: Nina’s shipping makes Kiran jealous.(Or, the High Tea Jinks Forging Bonds introduces the Alfonse/Silas rarepair, and Kiran tries to prevent its blossoming at all costs.)





	#ShipWars

**Author's Note:**

> Why is Alfonse aware of Nina's stalking? Because plot<s>hole</s> :)

Kiran sulking is a frequent sight, but the moodiness is new.

"What's up with you?" Sharena asks.

"Jealous," Kiran says. They cross their arms petulantly, sinking into the chair until their chin touches their chest.

Like that, they really do look like a spoiled child. Kiran looks so absurd it takes Sharena a while to process what they actually said. "Wait, jealous?"

Kiran grumbles unintelligibly to themselves. One thin hand exits the massive summoner sleeve to point to Commander Anna further down the mess hall, who is in the middle of a spirited discussion with one of the newer heroes, a girl with braided twin-tails. 

"Okay... What did Commander Anna do this time? Oh, you're jealous of her?" Sharena squints to look more closely at the girl. "You like Nina?"

"No!"

"You're jealous of them talking? Wait, I got it, you want in on their conversation!"

Kiran sniffs derisively, but they don't deny it. It's even weirder than their sulk. Kiran isn't shy by any means; a little reserved, but they've never had a problem starting a conversation or inserting themselves into one.

Sharena almost checks their forehead to see if they might be sick, but Kiran's the one person they can always count on to resist illness. That, and their sudden childishness is a little endearing. Mostly it's a little funny.

"Well, why don't you just ask if they can include you?"

"Rude," Kiran mumbles.

"It's never stopped you before."

Kiran looks away long enough to give her a betrayed look. Sharena can't help but laugh. It really is absurdly funny. A few rows ahead of them, Commander Anna takes out the little red book she makes sales calculations in, noting down whatever Nina is saying.

"Need to warn Nina," Kiran mumbles.

Sharena looks back at Kiran again, who stares sullenly at the two. Well, now is as good a time to butt in as any. Commander Anna's money schemes never work out, anyway.

"Up you go, Kiran," Sharena says, pulling her friend upright.

"What's happening?"

Sharena pats them reassuringly on the shoulder. "Your pal Sharena is gonna help you out."

Kiran brightens at that. "Can you distract Anna?"

"Can do! Now come on!"

  


* * *

  
The sight of Princess Sharena dragging Commander Anna away by the arm is one she won't forget soon. The sight of Kiran dragging Nina by her arm is also one she won't forget soon, though one more familiar. Also less familiar; she's used to dragging Kiran around, not the other way around.

For privacy, Kiran said. The empty hallway they've arrived at seems private enough.

"Nina," Kiran starts. A bit warily. Weird.

"Hey Kiran! What did you want to talk about?"

Kiran clears their throat. "You know how I'm Askr's summoner?"

"Yeah?"

"And how I'm sworn to protect the crown prince?"

"Prince Alfonse? Yeah, you told me during orientation."

"Well." Kiran glances around before leaning closer. "It's about your hobby. You know, following Alfonse and Silas around." Kiran gives her a meaningful look, for a few long seconds. The look would be more meaningful if she knew what it was supposed to convey. "I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop."

"Huh? You mean my book?"

"No, I mean with Alfonse. Please stop stalking him."

"HUH? I'm not stalking him! I'm just— I'm recording! Observing!"

"Well, can you stop? Him and Silas— No, just no Alfonse. You can stalk Silas if you want."

Well, that just won't do. How would that even work? "Kiran, I thought you supported me?"

Kiran grimaces. "I do. I brought you to Anna, didn't I? But just... This Alfonse and Silas thing, it has to stop."

"Why? It's a beautiful friendship, just imagine how it'll continue to grow—"

"Nope."

"Okay." Nina wracks her brain, thinking of what else she could do. Finding people who shared her hobby, however much Kiran denies sharing it, comes with its own set of problems. "What about... Silas and Corrin, and... Alfonse and—"

"Okay," Kiran interrupts, dragging out the vowels, sounding remarkably like Charlotte. "That's not gonna work." They close their eyes for a moment and take a deep breath. "Sorry, let me try again. Nina, please understand that Alfonse is off-limits. Forever."

"Forever?"

"Yes. Forever. Never ship him with anyone ever again." Kiran takes both of Nina's shoulders into their slender hands, resting against her with all their weight. It isn't much a of weight. Kiran should eat more. "Please, no more."

"Okay," Nina says, a little taken aback by Kiran's intense eyes. "No more ship. What does that mean again?"

Kiran instantly deflates. Before Nina can ask them what's wrong, they collapse, melting into a sad puddle against the stone floor and taking Nina with them. Nina yelps, trying to stay upright and gather them back into a human person.

"No more ship! I promise! Kiran, don't die!"

"Please," Kiran warbles, as Nina tries and fails to pull them off the floor. What's happening? Why is Kiran dying? "Don't ship Alfonse with anyone ever again. No more stories with him and Silas, okay? Or him with Zacharias, or him with Ephraim— "

"Kiran, you really did go through my book— ! Wait, don't die, I promise, Alfonse is off-limits!"

"Good, good— " Kiran coughs a little, the sound as high and thin as they are tall and thin, "no more competition, peace at last..."

And then, despite Nina's best efforts, Kiran flops over backward and faints.

  


* * *

  
"That's gonna bruise a while," Alfonse says.

Kiran sniffs sadly from the hospital cot, looking small and miserable without their giant summoner cloak. From what Alfonse can tell, the bandages on their head are really just for show: Kiran hit the floor hard, from Nina's report, but the concussion's healed now, only the bruise remaining to teach them a lesson about caution.

Alfonse's starting to suspect the entire thing was just for show.

But, it did give Sakura something to do and be confident about, and Nina's finally stopped following him around. Kiran's always a few steps ahead of everyone; it wouldn't be strange if they'd orchestrated such a mishap with those goals in mind.

Alfonse sighs. He could never stay stern with Kiran. "Why did you pretend to faint?"

Kiran just shrugs. "A graceful and dramatic exit?" they venture. "And then it hurt too much not to."

"You could have gotten seriously hurt. Worse than a concussion." Alfonse sighs again. "Sharena told me. Was this really about jealousy?"

Kiran begins fiddling with the blanket, a sign not of nervousness but of restless energy. They never did like staying still. "It's not very fair for me otherwise, when my partner and other half is loved and needed by so many people."

"Funny. My partner and other half is also loved and needed by so many people, but you don't see me going around cracking my head against stone."

"I don't want to hear that from someone with no competition."

"You don't think I have competition?" Alfonse raises an eyebrow, amused despite himself. "Remind me again, how many heroes have asked you to go with them when they return to their world?"

"You all have low standards," Kiran declares, sulking again. Alfonse has to agree with Sharena; their summoner looks absurd like that. Absurdly funny, that is. "I'm the only one with taste here. By the way, I win. I'm not accepting any new arguments about competition."

Alfonse huffs out a laugh. "Fine. Thank you for talking to Nina. Please don't hurt yourself like that next time, though."

Kiran smiles back, gesturing their hands in what they called 'finger guns.' "No problem. Anything to get rid of competition."

"You could have just talked to me. You know I'll always make time for you. And how is Nina competition?"

"She's not."

"Then what was all this for?"

"I told you. Get rid of competition."

Alfonse squints at Kiran suspiciously. "All right, I won't ask. In any case, since you're here anyway, you might as well rest. I'll bring you food later."

"But— "

"No buts. You haven't slept well for ages and you don't eat enough. We can't have our beloved summoner worked to death, can we?"

Instead of agreeing, Kiran just grumbles back something indecipherable and buries themselves into the blanket. Alfonse smiles to himself. If his concerns don't work, he has an even better threat, one Kiran handed over personally.

He gets up from beside the cot, walking over to the door and opening it. Just before leaving, he adds, "Can't keep an eye on the competition if you're dead, can you?"

"No!" Kiran shoots out from beneath the blanket. "No competition! I forbid it!"

Alfonse laughs, closing the door on Kiran's continued shouting. He'll check back in after a couple hours, see if his partner might finally have an appetite, maybe get Feh to come snuggle Kiran into more sleep. And if he's stopping by the kitchen, might as well tell the cooks to stop serving coffee with Kiran's meals.

In the meantime, he has a patrol with Silas and Ephraim to go on.

  


* * *

  
"Breidablik and Fólkvangr!" Nina shrieks, waking herself up with the loudness of her voice and scaring her roommates awake. "I have to tell Kiran! Kiran! Breidablik and Fólkvangr!"

And then she falls back onto her pillow, dead asleep once more.

**Author's Note:**

> Kiran is me during the entire High Tea Jinks Forging Bonds.


End file.
